I am responding to the reader who wrote in regarding Fun Without Drugs?. I'm sure there are many people out there who are dealing with this problem, as I have. I would like to share my experience with this.

About a year ago, I was basically ordered by my doctor to quit drinking, period. One reason is that I have to take a medication daily, and alcohol and drugs can have a terrible effect on the success of the medication. Also, we determined that I was abusing alcohol (I was not addicted or an alcoholic, but abusing it), and I needed to stop. So, I quit. On and off during the summer, I drank a few times (but never like before, when I drank and couldn't stop), but I paid for it later. Finally, after nine months or so, I quit altogether. I was extremely fearful of how I would face the peer pressure, because peer acceptance had been so important to me all my life. I had to examine myself and my future life and decide: was acceptance by strangers really that important to me? I realized that I have so much -- a beautiful son, a set of very good friends, a great job -- and peer pressure and acceptance didn't mean that much any more.

So now, when I say, "No thanks" in a casual yet confident tone, I think about what an accomplishment it is that I have made, what a hurdle I have leaped. It is a high that I feel every single day, and it's free. And I feel that I've made a great choice for my health, which would have been in jeopardy, had I continued drinking. My friends, who all drink, have accepted it and are very cool with it. If anyone is pushy about it (and I know this is a cliché but it's true), I know I'm not interested in being friends with them. I've actually said to people, "Why is my *not drinking* such a problem for you?" It points out who really needs help and shuts 'em up.

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(2)

Hi Alice,

I just thought I'd speak out. This web site is awesome. But so many people are using drugs... and even though I've done my share... it makes me sick to see all these questions about drugs... I have done acid and pot, and, honestly, they didn't give me any new insight into life. If anything, they made me have severe anxiety attacks, and depression problems. I think I have learned more being sober, alert, and a loving, kind person than being an "X head" or "pothead." These people need to "get a grip on their life" and become real people on this earth, not in their own la-la lands...

Thanks, peace,

doll

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(3)
Dear Alice,

I would like to respond to the person who wrote in about Fun without drugs?:

I, myself, have encountered and am getting through this exact same problem. As a high-schooler, I smoked marijuana and drank liquor, as I grew older and entered the working world, many of my friends turned to harder drugs, and I, myself, did esctasy and went to raves, often with my friends.

When I was 25, I started to realize that the adage "fun = drugs or alcohol + whatever" was a sham, likely much like yourself. I wasn't really having fun, I was getting stoned, and as with all drugs, it gets boring after a while and you end up needing something stronger to make even the drug use more exciting. What's worse, as I started to notice this, I began noticing that all of my relationships were drug-centric (i.e., we would be talking about parties, experiences with alchohol or drugs, and they would be talking about future planned experiences with the same).

I was never a heavy drug user, drinking once to three times per week, smoking marijuana usually when drinking, and at my peak, I did ecstasy no more than about twice per month, usually half that.

I found that when backing away from the whole heavy drinking, partying, drugging thing, my friends would turn on me (i.e., "What? You aren't my friend anymore because I do drugs? Why don't you hang out with me anymore?") and it made me feel terrible, but I had to stick with the program because I had changed, they had not, and to continue being in the drug-centric environment just made me feel uncomfortable (I don't want to be a drag on these people's good time, but I don't want to hang out with a bunch of drunk and stoned people when I want to be straight, either.)

What worked for me was to find other loves in life and other ways to meet people and hang out in more mellow environments. Having dinner parties, going out at times other than late night (evening, afternoon), where people were less likely to indulge, and most of all, just setting new standards for who I hung around with.

My binge-drinking, pot-smoking, and ecstasy-popping friends weren't very happy with my decision, but I most certainly am. If they call, I offer to have them over for dinner; if they refuse, that's their problem. I still have a few drinks or smoke a joint once in a while, but my life now at 28 is where it should be. A few shades mellower.

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(4)
Dear Alice,

RE: Fun without drugs?

Sounds like you're addicted, get some professional help. Also, the "$20 for a night club is too expensive excuse" is lame, since obviously you have to BUY booze and drugs too right? Having fun doing anything is all a state of mind. If you believe you can't have fun without getting high, then you probably won't. Just stop depending on alcohol and narcotics, grow up, and start living your life with a clear head. Oh, and even though it'll be tough, if you really want to change your lifestyle for the better, you need to stay away from your alcoholic/druggy friends. It is too tempting for you to resist. Be proud of yourself, stay sober, you can do it!

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(5)

Hi Alice,

I would like to point out some great natural highs that lots of people love. Get extreme! Go skydiving or bungee jumping, or learn an exciting sport like snowboarding. That's the far end of the spectrum, but there's a couple other great ways to feel excited and exhilarated AWESOME even on a smaller scale (and budget). Get a season pass to the nearest theme or amusement park, and ride roller coasters and thrill rides! My mom's a roller coaster addict, and she wears it works better than her antidepressants even weeks after a theme park trip.

You said you were sick of renting movies, but go to the movie theatre, and watch comedies or scary movies for some laughs or thrills. Or best yet, pick up some kind of hobby that involves performing. Take a group voice class where you sing in front of people, or sing karaoke at the bowling alley, or get involved with live theatre or a dance performance class. The high after being on stage in front of an audience is unbeatable.