Dear Reader,

People cuss for all kinds of reasons — to express emotions such as anger, frustration, and ecstasy; to emphasize a point; to feel and appear powerful; to get noticed; to be funny — because they've grown up hearing and speaking slang, and/or because everyone else is doing it, and this may be a way of bonding. Since words and expressions traditionally considered curses are now so integrated into the everyday speech of different groups of people and media, those "mouthing off" may not think of them as offensive. For some folks, "dirty words" have become as commonplace as the words that are music to your ears.

Related, but with a twist, some people have started using words that historically had negative connotations, in part to neutralize their power to hurt. For example, you may hear some African-Americans using the word "nigger" and some members of the gay community using "faggot." If words used to insult others are turned on their heads and used ironically in a positive context, they may, over time, become less hurtful, and less used altogether.

So, do these causes for cursing (a partial list, for sure) mean that you have to remain silent? No fu—, sorry, no way! You'll have to determine the appropriateness of voicing your feelings about someone else's, or a group's, "toilet mouth(s)," but why not mention that you feel uncomfortable? You might joke by saying that you'd prefer to engage in, or listen to, G and PG conversations. Offering your reasons might also be beneficial: you find cursing ugly, unnecessary, hurtful? whatever. You could also decide to flush the potty and stop conversing and hanging with cursers who make you cringe. Or, short of dismissing them, you could ask them, "Why all the bad words?" Their responses, "naughty" or nice, might be insightful.

Alice

P.S.: It's possible that if the cursers in question know how riled up you get, they'll keep on doing it just to watch you squirm. If this is the case, then expressing your opinion but then keeping it cool might just flush their motivation right down the toilet.