Dear Reader,

Placing a condom on backwards is not uncommon. When this happens, sometimes people use the condom anyway, flipping it around without thinking about the risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as HIV. At other times, people don't have another condom around and would rather use that one than not use one at all.

While it's possible that your girlfriend could become pregnant — since you put the condom on backwards, took the condom off, and rolled it on the other way — the chances are relatively low. If your pre-ejaculatory fluid containing sperm was on the condom, that sperm may have gotten into her vagina. Your girlfriend would have had to be at the point in her menstrual cycle when she was ovulating, which is typically 14 days before menstruation.

Notice that the word "if" above is highlighted. Not all pre-ejaculatory fluid contains sperm. This fluid is made by the prostate, not the testes that produce sperm, and thus contains no sperm on its own. If you ejaculated a short while before and hadn't urinated, some sperm from that ejaculation could have been left behind in the urethra and mixed with the "new" pre-ejaculatory fluid. If you hadn't already ejaculated at least once, then the chance that your pre-cum contained sperm is highly unlikely.

Another issue is that you describe yourselves as "drunk" when you put the condom on backwards. Your situation is a vivid example of how alcohol impairs judgment (although plenty of people not under the influence could place a condom on backwards by mistake! After all, we're human). Mixing alcohol and other drugs with sex is something you may want to think twice about in the future.

It is not clear if your girlfriend knows that the condom was flipped around. If she doesn't know, tell her what happened and let her know that you are worried and concerned about her and the chance of pregnancy. If it's still within 72 hours, you can both consider emergency contraception to prevent a possible pregnancy (1.888.NOT.2.LATE is the number you can call to find out where emergency contraception is available in your area). You can also talk about the "what if" options. Your girlfriend will probably appreciate your concern. It's an important way to learn even more about each other, too.

Concerning your comment that your girlfriend "does not deserve this": It's not a matter of whether or not your girlfriend (or you) deserves the worry about possible pregnancy. People who have intercourse may get pregnant or get STIs. That's why information and discussion about the "what ifs" are so important, before sex. Some people think these discussions are unromantic or kill the mood, and in brief encounters, they can. In a committed, long-term relationship, however, people often talk with their partners about their goals, values, priorities, hopes, and dreams. These discussions can also include the "what ifs" of pregnancy and STIs, as well as what sex means to you and your relationship. So the assumption is two people are choosing and consenting to the sex they are having, with the risks as well as the pleasure. You did not do anything bad to her, and anyone can make a mistake.

Lastly, to prevent this situation from happening again in the future, think about stocking up on condoms (buy in quantity or bulk), throw that inside-out condom away, reach into your stash, and open another one. Or, consider another or an additional form of contraception to use with your favorite condoms.

Alice

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